Happy Valentines Day

I have never really been one to celebrate Valentines Day. However, sometimes being far away from home makes you crave stupid, unimportant holidays for some unexplainable reason. I remember being in Bamako during Halloween one time and buying a bag of candy that I handed out to all the kids of my block with a mini-lecture on Halloween (nothing informative - more like - it's Halloween in the US and this is what kids your age are doing...). Noone got it. This valentines day I might have imagined Drissa and I going out to hear live music or splurging on a nice dinner for two or maybe going dancing. Suprisingly, Bamako was well aware it was Valentines day and the local Shell station was selling cut flowers, candy, and used stuffed animals ($10 a pop).

However, I did not live out any expat valentines fantasies last night. Instead - we hosted Drissa's "geren" at our house. A "geren" is a group of men that you get together with to drink tea, make fun of each other, and talk about ex-girlfriends. Drissa gets together with his geren every Saturday. So every Sat - the 15 or so men all go to a different guy's house. Drissa's turn coincided with Valentines Day.

I asked Drissa if my friend Kadi could come help us cook. I have known Kadi since I first came to Bamako in 2002. She is married to Madou - who owned one of the Sotrama's Drissa used to drive. I always found Kadi and Madou's story inspiring. In a place where most marriages are arranged, Kadi and Madou actually fell in love and got married. They now have 4 kids. Kadi is my best female friend in Bamako. I love Kadi and I think she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. She has taught me more Bambara than anyone here. She doesn't speak French, is extremely patient, and speaks with a stutter. This means that she is slow and patient when she speaks with me. I knew that if I would be stuck cooking for 15 men - I would want Kadi on my side.

Kadi came around 3 and we went to the market to buy meet, potatoes, garlic, onions, peppers, oil, celery leaves, carrots, and mustard. We went back to my host family's house and peeled and cut vegetables and then slow cooked some meat (later pouring the vegetables on top). The whole cooking process took about 5 hours.

The men arrived at around 10. Drissa had set up chairs for them outside. They sat and talked and drank tea. I went over to check out the scene and asked Drissa when they wanted to eat. Then I went back and watched a Valentines Day poetry competition with Kadi at my host families house. At 10:30 it was time to serve the food. Kadi and I brought it over to my house and seperated it into 5 plates. We put the food out and then brought water so the men could wash their hands. Then we served them cokes and brought them water to drink.

Then we sat down in the house in front of our own plate of food. Some of my host familiy's daughters came over and joined us. As we were eating the men started to rush out to attend secondary Valentines Day parties. Kadi's husband Madou, who had joined the geren for tonight, drove Kadi and their youngest baby home on their motorcycle around midnight.